Remembering Bapa Ben
August 3, 2022
Eulogy delivered on August 3, 2022 at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City, California
Benjamin Reyes Guzman was born on August 10, 1941 in Sapang Bato, Pampanga, Philippines.
To many of us here, he was known as Ben, Bentoo, mapula mata (blurry eyes), bapa ben.
For me, he was the closest thing to a father figure.
As an only child growing up in a single parent household, he was one of the few positive male role models I had growing up.
While he might not have been the most vocal person in the room, anyone who had the chance to interact with him knows he was a trusted and loyal friend.
Never overbearing nor aggressive, Bapa Ben was a beautiful soul who had so much to give in his own unique way.
Having spent time working the assembly lines in Inglewood and delivering mail to 400 people daily in his last job with the U.S. Postal Service in Lakewood, California, he enjoyed the simple things of life – spending time with his close friends and family.
An avid reader, he subscribed to many magazines and newspapers. At one point, he was reading 3 newspapers daily - The Los Angeles Times, The Daily Breeze and the Press-Telegram.
In many ways, I have him to thank for introducing me to news and journalism at an early age. I would often compete with him for pieces of the paper, mostly starting with the Sunday sales but eventually I started to read the articles and I eventually got hooked.
While he never said it, I knew he was so proud to see my byline in the Daily Breeze when I interned for them during college.
In later years, as I was in my first job as a newspaper reporter at the Press-Enterprise, he would often invite me to dinner with his two close friends who made the trek to Pechanga, a casino in Temecula - a town where I lived and worked while working for the PE.
And while he wasn’t the typical Filipino uncle in the sense of telling long winded stories (although he was so good with coming up with nicknames for folks, including myself – which I will not reveal his name for me here but he also named the cats he fed that made their home at his house) - he was a tried and true introvert like me.
He was my uncle. He lived life his way, cared for people in his way.
He wasn’t big on loud affirmations but rather showed his love through actions versus words.
One example of this was when it came to the house my mom and I lived in. When it came time to make a decision on what to do when my estranged father wanted his share of the house, Bapa Ben was there when I made the decision to buy my dad out.
The entire story is too long to tell here (here’s the story) but in short, there was no way I would have been able to do that with Bapa Ben’s willingness to be on the mortgage application.
He’s the reason why we were able to stay in my childhood home and how I became a homeowner.
It just goes to show that no matter the crisis, you knew you could count on Bapa Ben. When you needed to rally, he was there.
In the last months of his life, he worried about leaving things unsettled and held on as long as he could to make sure things were taken care of when he passed on.
In one of the last conversations I had with him which fittingly happened on Father’s Day, we talked about his car as it still needed a smog test and asked about my next travels.
In parting, he told me he wanted me to be happy and go see the world.
I hope to live up to that expectation.
As he made the transition to the next stage of his journey, we were told by the nurse who was in the room with him the day he passed that he was talking to someone – his mother - my grandmother, apo.
We were comforted by the fact she was the one to welcome him home. As the youngest son, he was by default my apo’s favorite.
Bapa Ben, while you are no longer with us in this world, we know you will always be with us and your contributions will never be forgotten as long as we are here.
Until we meet again, dacal salamat and kaluguran daka.