Season of Transitions: Pause, Reunite, Reconnect
August 3, 2022
When you are in a business that is all about real time updates, it can be odd to not be doing that with your own life. However, taking the time to just reflect and breathe can be rare whereas it should be the standard.
As a journalist for nearly two decades, I live and thrive by real time reporting and updates. But there’s something to be said about our relationship with time and how we choose to intentionally spend a currency that never accrues, but rather is lost once it’s spent.
In this year and season of transition, that’s exactly where I am right now. As I’ve learned from my colleagues in my community work, taking a break is just as important as being the first to report and post the latest updates.
So here goes…..with more posts rolling out in the next couple days/weeks:
I didn’t know what to expect in 2022. Given the unprecedented era that started with 2020, the reasonable expectation would be just to survive another year in a global pandemic.
But so far, 2022 has brought an abundance of what life is all about: good, bad (sad) and everything in between that ties all of this together.
Let’s start with the sad.
The Bad (Sad)
Sad is a relative term - in this case, the passing of my beloved uncle. Growing up with a single parent household, my uncle Ben was the closest thing to a father figure, at the very least a positive male role model along with my other uncles, Rick (RIP) and Oscar.
I still cannot believe he is no longer here. Bapa Ben (bapa is the kapampangan term for uncle) was an introvert, like much of my family. While he detested any major attention, when you needed him, he was always there and ready to help. You didn’t have to ask him twice, when the family needed to rally, he would be the first to pitch in.
In looking back at all the major milestones in my life, Bapa Ben was at every one - every graduation, every move in my career.
Bapa Ben at my Masters of Arts graduation at UCLA in 2010.
So when he suffered a heart attack earlier this spring, I rushed back home as soon as I heard - I was away from LA at the time. For the next few months or so, his health kept ping ponging back and forth to the brink of death to eventually moving to rehab.
However he didn’t stay in rehab that long, when he passed. Those months while he was moved in and out of the ICU and the step down unit were stressful for him and the rest of the family. With no kids of his own, I was the closest next of kin in addition to my mom and aunts and uncles.
This is the eulogy I delivered at his funeral today:
Benjamin Reyes Guzman was born on August 10, 1941 in Sapang Bato, Pampanga, Philippines.
To many of us here, he was known as Ben, Bentoo, mapula mata (blurry eyes), bapa ben.
For me, he was the closest thing to a father figure.
As an only child growing up in a single parent household, he was one of the few positive male role models I had growing up.
While he might not have been the most vocal person in the room, anyone who had the chance to interact with him knows he was a trusted and loyal friend.
Never overbearing nor aggressive, Bapa Ben was a beautiful soul who had so much to give in his own unique way.
Having spent time working the assembly lines in Inglewood and delivering mail to 400 people daily in his last job with the U.S. Postal Service in Lakewood, California, he enjoyed the simple things of life – spending time with his close friends and family.
An avid reader, he subscribed to many magazines and newspapers. At one point, he was reading 3 newspapers daily - The Los Angeles Times, The Daily Breeze and the Press-Telegram.
In many ways, I have him to thank for introducing me to news and journalism at an early age. I would often compete with him for pieces of the paper, mostly starting with the Sunday sales but eventually I started to read the articles and I eventually got hooked.
While he never said it, I knew he was so proud to see my byline in the Daily Breeze when I interned for them during college.
In later years, as I was in my first job as a newspaper reporter at the Press-Enterprise, he would often invite me to dinner with his two close friends who made the trek to Pechanga, a casino in Temecula - a town where I lived and worked while working for the PE.
And while he wasn’t the typical Filipino uncle in the sense of telling long winded stories (although he was so good with coming up with nicknames for folks, including myself – which I will not reveal his name for me here but he also named the cats he fed that made their home at his house) - he was a tried and true introvert like me.
He was my uncle. He lived life his way, cared for people in his way.
He wasn’t big on loud affirmations but rather showed his love through actions versus words.
One example of this was when it came to the house my mom and I lived in. When it came time to make a decision on what to do when my estranged father wanted his share of the house, Bapa Ben was there when I made the decision to buy my dad out.
The entire story is too long to tell here (here’s the story) but in short, there was no way I would have been able to do that with Bapa Ben’s willingness to be on the mortgage application.
He’s the reason why we were able to stay in my childhood home and how I became a homeowner.
It just goes to show that no matter the crisis, you knew you could count on Bapa Ben. When you needed to rally, he was there.
In the last months of his life, he worried about leaving things unsettled and held on as long as he could to make sure things were taken care of when he passed on.
In one of the last conversations I had with him which fittingly happened on Father’s Day, we talked about his car as it still needed a smog test and asked about my next travels.
In parting, he told me he wanted me to be happy and go see the world.
I hope to live up to that expectation.
As he made the transition to the next stage of his journey, we were told by the nurse who was in the room with him the day he passed that he was talking to someone – his mother - my grandmother, apo.
We were comforted by the fact she was the one to welcome him home. As the youngest son, he was by default my apo’s favorite.
Bapa Ben, while you are no longer with us in this world, we know you will always be with us and your contributions will never be forgotten as long as we are here.
Until we meet again, dacal salamat and kaluguran daka
I hope I continue to make you proud bapa Ben.
Thank you to my family, friends and confidantes for helping and supporting me and my family at this time (in no particular order): Damian Fiatala, Jason Tadeo, Mark Calaguas, Fred Docdocil, Ireneo Reus, Angelico Razon, Melissa Palma, Antonio Moya, Dien Le, Monica O’Hearn, Tiffany Celedio, FYLPRO family and my colleagues at TPG and AAJA - Naomi Tacuyan Underwood and Jin Ding for giving me the grace among all the things happening all at the same time.
The Good
Travel is no stranger to me. And having the opportunity to work at a place like The Points Guy has taken me to Las Vegas, Hawaii, Guam and most recently Minnesota.
But what makes travel powerful is not the destination but the journey, the people you connect and reconnect along the way.
Thankful for all the folks I’ve been able to meet and spend time with when time is so precious as the pandemic has highlighted for all of us.
"In life, it's not where you go, it's who you travel with." -Charles Schulz
Shoutout and thank you to Mark Calaguas for being on this journey with me.
Everything in between
The Points Guy
In what has been perhaps the funnest job I’ve ever had, I’m thankful for crossing paths with the great minds and staff of the Points Guy. Not only have I leveled up my points and miles game, I’ve seen first hand the power of travel.
Big shoutout and thank you editorial, marketing, partnerships, data and product teams for really being intentional in everything you do.
Special shoutout to Brian Kelly, Scott Mayerowitz, Steve Sibley, Rachel Malone Olson, Taylor Jenkins, Chris Lopinto, Kat Leitch, Clint Henderson, Andrea Rotondo, Melanie Lieberman, Nick Ewen, Summer Hull, Eric Rosen, Madison Blancaflor, Benet Wilson, Gene Sloan, Ben Mutzabaugh, Mitchell Stoutin, Grant McClure, Vish Kodavati, Jill Bressler, Chris DiScipio, Mimi Wright, Caroline English, Becca Manheimer, Mary Kate Heaney - thanks for making this such a fun place to work at.
Thank you for the opportunity to relive my childhood in Las Vegas, travel to where America begins the day in Guam and most recently, my favorite trip to the SPAM museum in Austin, Minnesota. (read my upcoming story :-)
I know I’ll run into TPG-ers on the road again.
Also cannot wait for you all to read my dispatches from Minnesota - especially my dispatch from the SPAM museum!
FYLPRO’s 10th anniversary
So much to say and reflect on this special weekend. I want to thank the team behind this event: Joyce Roldan King, Sabrina Sayoc and Jessica Velasco.
Thank you for curating a special event that was full of reunions, reconnections and just intentional time together. Thank you our partners at the Philippine Embassy, Department of Foreign Affairs and Ayala Foundation for always supporting our work.
Thank you to all our alums and members who made this anniversary weekend an event to remember.
Congrats to FYLPRO for a decade of changing many young leaders' lives in ways I cannot fully describe.
More on this in the coming weeks but I wanted to also shout out the Tayo fellows who presented on our project - Frances Maher and Lorenzo Garcia.
I, along with the entire team in attendance and virtual were so proud to see you present so eloquently and how far the entire project has come.
So much more to come - stay tuned!
AAJA
Everything goes full circle. How fast 20 years goes! 2022 was my 20th AAJA convention and it was my 4th one being heavily involved in programming. I could not have asked for a better co-chair than Jin Ding.
Thank you for giving me the grace when things so many things coming all at once. We did it!!
After two years of straight of programming virtually, it was great to finally do an in person conference, in what better city than our founding city of Los Angeles.
After months of zoom calls, it was great to see this grand reunion of 1,500 journalists. Seeing old friends and making new ones was the highlight of last week.
I look forward to continuing these relationships in the years to come. As Naomi Tacuyan Underwood said at one of the receptions, #AAJAFamily is real and we’re here for it all.
What’s Next
There’s one more transition coming up which I’ll reveal in a few weeks - it does involve a move east.
I’m excited for this next chapter and what it may bring across many areas of professional and personal life.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to let go of control and be open to possibilities - when you do this, the most unexpected things come your way.
So take a risk - it may bring what you've been waiting for all your life. And trust me, it’s worth the wait.